- What do you call a bird that’s afraid to fly?
- I don’t understand cloning at all.
- Maybe it’s because I’m on a seafood diet.
- I just spent my full share on a belt that won’t fit.
- Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side?
- I read a great book about zero gravity.
- Why don’t monsters eat clowns?
- Did you hear about the clausterphobic astronaut?
- A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store.
- I asked my new date to meet me at the gym, but she never showed up.
- These fries are unequivocally fucking bussin’.
- I used to go out with a magazine collector.
- My wife called me at the bar last night…
- I recently learned that my dad, grandad, and great-grandad all had diarrhea.
- If money doesn’t grow on trees…
- You think gas and electric bills are expensive.
- I’m trying organize a Hide and Seek tournament…
- I went to the toy store and I asked the manager where the Terminator dolls were.
- What kind of doctor was Dr Pepper?
- Do you know why they call it the Dark Ages?
- Why did the blind girl fall in the well?
- Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
- Two weeks ago I sent my hearing aid in for repair
- Remember when I got fired from the keyboard factory?
- I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
- I’m writing a book about reverse psychology.
- Five Years – Bo Burnham
- My girlfriend thinks I don’t give her enough privacy.
- I’m never buying anything with velcro.
- I hate it when people tell me age is just a number.
- I never believed in my chiropractor.
- I watched a documentary on marijuana last night.
- Why did the scarecrow get an award?
- I saw a microbiologist today.
- It’s ok if you don’t know what prefix means.
- The salesman at the furniture store said I could fit five people on the couch without any problems.
- Seven days without a pun…
- What’s the best gift you can possibly give?
- Wanna hear a good pizza joke?
Categories
- No categories